Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Schiller Me Timbers!

Dear California State School System,

Thank you very much for your generous furlough days that allowed for my classmates and myself to meet at 50-something-year-old man at a cheap motel for an endless supply of red wine and beer, as we discussed Friedrich Schiller's "Kabale und Liebe" without the direction of a professor.

I remember pulling into the parking lot and feeling like call girl as I entered, stumbling about the hallways looking for the correct room, but I don't remember how many glasses of wine I had. When a British Dr. from Oxford tells you to "drink up!" you don't ask any questions. Instead, you let the wine flow.

Now, I've seen Oprah's Book Club many-o-times on television, so I was prepared on how these gatherings operate, but not even Oprah could prepare me for how much alcohol I'd consume. At first, I thought the wine would make me a little less tense, since I wasn't primed on the topic (I may just have put off reading this play all together), so I had a glass. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another.

It was only the first five minutes, and I was Lucy Ricardo doing the Vitameatavegemin shoot in a room full of Frasier Cranes (only these Frasiers weren't as ironically funny or witty as Kelsey Grammar). It comes as no surprise that German scholars aren't known for their humor (Germans, in general, aren't known for their humor), so hardly anyone was amused at my stumbling about and loud shuffling of papers, or even when I announced to our whole group that I had to use the restroom, but eventually the conference ended, and I was free to drive recklessly home.

Many people may be against these furlough foreclosures, but I say as long as there is free alcohol a-flowin', school's not worth a-goin'! Keep up the good work, California Educational System! Let's beat this budget crisis with a cocktail in both hands.

Yours Truly,

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Brandon and Erin