Thursday, January 21, 2010

Anyone Can Teach!

That's right! Anyone. Well, that's what it seems like if you're staff at California State University Long Beach. Sure, at one point this state funded (are any schools in California really state funded at the moment?) university may have had its moments. But even when Richard Carpenter funded the Richard and Karen Carpenter Performing Arts Center, he was wise in not including any remnants of the university's name in the building's obscenely long title.

California State Budget cuts are ruining my educational experience. Any class that doesn't meet enrollment requirements are instantly cut one day after posting if minimum class enrollment isn't met, so teachers are creating classes that draw in the masses instead of focusing on educational value.

Exhibit A:

I enrolled in a German cinema class this semester. Though the title sounds intriguing and possibly suggests a fascinating history full of rich background information, it's just a fancy phrasing for showing up for a Wednesday night movie club where we watch some lady's Netflix queue who believes her "passion for movies" qualifies her to extract meaning. She may have had some credibility had she actually studied film, not bought enough movie tickets to equal film school tuition, and she'd be even more credible if she had achieved her Ph.D. by now instead of putting off her dissertation for the past few years in order to pursue her other passion: posing for her webcam showing an array of bored facial expressions which she posts to her Facebook almost constantly. Maybe she can teach a class on photography in the fall.

Budget cuts and decrease in salaries have also led to an increased orneriness in the staff. Maybe some time ago education and thriving, diverse departments used to be a key goal of the university, but remnants of those happy days of yore are harder to find than the Holy Grail. Instead, students have been reduced to mere numbers and are one budget cut away from having our student I.D. numbers tattooed on our foreheads and patches identifying our areas of study sewed onto our shirts.

In fact, in order to KEEP students at the university, it has become widely accepted by administration, staff, and faculty to resort to belittling students until there is no self-identity left, from which they are able to mold us into the model beings they want: emotionless, passionless robots who care about nothing other than earning the school money and will bend over to take the abuse.

Why stay in a program in which department chairs continue to belittle its students and thrive off of becoming leaches that suck the life and drive out of every being it can? Because graduate credits don't transfer, I'm so close to being done, and I still care about what I'm studying: German language. Sure, the department is suffering so much it has practically disintegrated by allowing students in who cannot formulate one simple sentence in German. And yes, those same students are receiving the exact same credit for doing all of their work in English whilst I continually strive to better myself and improve my foreign language skills, but who will come out the better man? Certainly not the crabby, old German department chair who sends out mass e-mails every-other week to remind students he is the one with a Ph.D. and depreciating mind who has sold his soul for the ability to sit in an office all day and use his socialist scare tactics to verbally bash all students into submission and feel like he is a superior being, when in reality it is the students who remain intact in spirit that shall overcome in the end and who will, without a word spoken, become the superiors.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head

I find myself sitting in bed with my window slightly cracked to allow the steady patter of rain beating against the pavement below to lull me to sleep. Unfortunately, it's not working. Instead, I keep thinking about how ridiculous Californians are. How come? Well, aside from soaking up too much sun, allowing their brains to become fried slowly during the duration of their lives, they just don't know what to do when the weather is anything but 73˚ and sunny out.

In fact, the rain has been so "torrential" that it has made national news, and my mother called me in a panic. "Don't worry," I assured her. "It's just a thunderstorm." "Is that all?!" And there the conversation ended because I hung up the phone. I like to hang up in the middle of sentences. It gives me a sense of power and control of the conversation, but I digress.

Although, I must agree that 60" of rain in one week is a little much, even if we're experiencing a drought at the moment, the fright and the panic needs to stop. Really. Who cares if it's raining? Who cares if there's thunder and lightning? Who cares that there are several tornado warnings that last a great deal of the afternoon? I'll tell you who: not me. If I had my way, I'd use this week of Mother Nature's wrath to incur the "big one" and send California out to sea once and for all.

The rain is supposed to be worse tomorrow, and I'll probably celebrate by heading to the jacuzzi and sipping margaritas in the drizzle. Fo' real! And if I were any sensible person, I'd stay off the road - any of them - until the sun comes back because I don't trust one single person out there.

It's times like these that I'm glad I'm Texan.

Monday, January 18, 2010

2010!

Well, it's the new year. Or rather, it has been for the past 18 days. What have I learned from this past year? For one thing, that I'm not very great at blogging. I mean, really: 23 entries in the past 4 or so months? Tsk tsk tsk on myself.

I begin teaching next week at a new university. I'm not really nervous as much as I am appalled at myself for agreeing to teach at a public university. Not that there'e anything wrong with it *cough*state budget*cough*, but I'll miss being able to xerox materials without having to sacrifice my paycheck or possibly a baby.

What's more is that I'm not really enthused about teaching this semester as I was last semester. Sure, I'll do it because it's an easier way to earn money than when I prostituted for the bank, but do I really have the energy to drag myself to campus before noon on Tuesdays and Thursdays? Not really.

But that could just be the weather talking right now. It started pouring buckets of rain today, and California is expected to get about 60" ... of rain, that is. Who expects it? Me. I didn't even crawl out of bed until sometime between 4 and 5P.M. today because I just didn't have the energy to expend.

Update with pictures to come soon!