These simple pleasures, however, have been overshadowed by the news of a serial groper roaming the neighborhood.
Apparently a man has been sneaking into women's bedrooms and fondling them in the night. Eeew.
Often in crime shows they map the locations of previous attacks and form a sort of "triangle of pervertedness" as I like to call it. Well, folks, I'm right there in the perverted triangle and I have never hated triangles so much. Now that I live alone the freedom of partial nudity pales in comparison to the potential of waking up in the middle of the night to find a strange man hovering over me, silently stroking my leg.
While I know some of you are thinking, "This might be the perfect opportunity for you! It's not like anyone else has been fondling you lately," I still feel a surprise midnight game of slap and tickle might be extreme.
But If I were to wake up to a freshly made gourmet dinner on the other hand...let's just say...you scratch my back and I'll...lay there pretending I'm asleep.
Why, come on in!!
