Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head

I find myself sitting in bed with my window slightly cracked to allow the steady patter of rain beating against the pavement below to lull me to sleep. Unfortunately, it's not working. Instead, I keep thinking about how ridiculous Californians are. How come? Well, aside from soaking up too much sun, allowing their brains to become fried slowly during the duration of their lives, they just don't know what to do when the weather is anything but 73˚ and sunny out.

In fact, the rain has been so "torrential" that it has made national news, and my mother called me in a panic. "Don't worry," I assured her. "It's just a thunderstorm." "Is that all?!" And there the conversation ended because I hung up the phone. I like to hang up in the middle of sentences. It gives me a sense of power and control of the conversation, but I digress.

Although, I must agree that 60" of rain in one week is a little much, even if we're experiencing a drought at the moment, the fright and the panic needs to stop. Really. Who cares if it's raining? Who cares if there's thunder and lightning? Who cares that there are several tornado warnings that last a great deal of the afternoon? I'll tell you who: not me. If I had my way, I'd use this week of Mother Nature's wrath to incur the "big one" and send California out to sea once and for all.

The rain is supposed to be worse tomorrow, and I'll probably celebrate by heading to the jacuzzi and sipping margaritas in the drizzle. Fo' real! And if I were any sensible person, I'd stay off the road - any of them - until the sun comes back because I don't trust one single person out there.

It's times like these that I'm glad I'm Texan.